wrigley field is MILF paradise
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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