she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
