Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
