I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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