i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
