i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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