so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
