My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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