she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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