so that wasnt chicken after all
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
