4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
