Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
