She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize