I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
