so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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