David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
