the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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