people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
