the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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