a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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