I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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