If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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