Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
