i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
