are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
