i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
