I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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