You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
