i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
