I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
