I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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