I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize