does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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