I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
