u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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