True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
