is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
