Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
