it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
