Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We need to get me chipped asap
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
