there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize