Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
