My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
