Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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