the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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