Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize