I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
