I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
