I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
