had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
