How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
