I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize