Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
