Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
