Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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