That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
