Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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