I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
