Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
