Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
