fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
