To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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