i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
