Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize