even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize