You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
