Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
