he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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