I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You were trust falling into bushes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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