I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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