Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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