i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Even my vagina gasped.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
