hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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