Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
