so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
