We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
