That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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