lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
